Boys.

My aunt set me up with a boy in January. He sounded hopeful- he was in law school, his parents were the same religion as me, we both lived in the same city... there was so much in common it was great. He was come for vacation in January and we went out three times and talked for hours, I was so excited that I did not date anyone until he came back from school in May. So he's been back three months and to his credit, I have been away for three weeks, but he's made no effort to contact me. And the bad thing is we've been talking through FB, which always makes this weird. He's been writing a comic book script and wants to act it out with me. Weird, I know. I creeps me out, but considering we had such a great time in the winter I was somewhat willing to overlook the weirdness because he never talked about it in person. When I in fact told him I'd rather just go get coffee or talk, he started complaining about how he's so stressed, he might not go back to school, etc etc etc. Very whiney, very unstable. Again, creepy. Despite my better judgement he asked to come over my house after work yesterday around 8. He didn't come, he didn't call. Not even "Hey I'm tired, lets meet another night" and he's done this before. I'm sick of waiting around for 'dates' that he never shows for. Really. As perfect as he once seemed, I'm over it. I'm not waiting anymore, if he was serious as I am about finding a long term relationship, he'd have at least found an hour of his time for me this summer.

I'll probably try eharmoney this fall. I'm very comfortable with my life at the moment and in some cases don't want a relationship but at the same time, I want a husband and kids so I know that it doesn't happen over night. Dating won't hurt, it's not like he'll be moving in next week! Everyone around me is getting married. Why not me? What's so wrong? Dating is hard too, because you get a lot of crazies! How do you sort them out? How do you meet them when you work with women all day? I'm not going to find my husband in a bar... no way!

A day in the life

So here I am, 20 something years old. Last time I checked I was a school teacher, first time home owner, and single. I have a lot of hobbies, and a lot to say. What's the trouble with the internet these days is that everyone knows everything about you, whether you want them to or not. No matter what facebook privacy buttons you choose, you somehow manage to miss one and everyone can know things you only meant for a few people. Then again, things put on the internet are often written in stone, not easily erased so I've learned not to post or write based on an emotional whim- something I can regret later. However, I do find typing to be a good therapy for life's troubles. How many emails or posts have I written in anger and then not posted or sent because when I was finished my rant, I felt better. I've created this journal of sorts to chart my progress and journey through life, whenever I get frustrated or want to say something I don't want the entire facebook world to see. Because not it's not just friends- it's family, it's co-workers, it's everyone.

I'm currently struggling with some difficult emotions that come with my age- most of my friends are married or dating. My plan was to get married and have children- pat of the reason why I chose to be a teacher so I could have a family orriented career. Here I am, very single. Guys are hard to find. Guys who don't want to have sex on the 2nd date are harder, I'm an old fashioned girl. I am Catholic and used to be a wait until marriage girl but don't go by that anymore but still, if a guy asks about sexual history on the first date it's not a good sign!! ha!

I recently bough my first home and while I want a man on my arm, I also revel in my independence. When my friends want to do spend weekends in NYC or wherever, I sadly cannot go but with a gleam in my eye I let them know I have bills, I have a mortgage, I have responsibilities. I'm not sure I'm ready for a man yet. While I feel the clock ticking away on my youth, I am very independent and self confessed control freak so I'm not sure how I'd handle letting someone else in... into my heart, and into my house period. ha.

It's very late at night but I've been wanting to set this blog up forever as a place to journal about my life without ever giving a clue to my age, location, or identify so I can write freely.